I didn't audition for the play I wanted to. I realized that this week and next, I have a lot on my plate that I need to get done, and adding in an audition and rehearsals would not be good right now.

I'm recording some of my repertoire next week because I'm applying for two summer programs this summer, one in Salzburg and one in Lucca. The Salzburg application is due first though, so I will know if I made it by March 1st, as that is when the first payment is due. I'm really exciting to find out about these programs - by attending one of them would be a dream of a lifetime. Yes, it comes with a heavy price tag, but if I want to become a performer or voice teacher, this is something that I will need to do. And why not start now?

Classes are still going well, except that I've already skipped my Spanish class. I know it's only the 3rd week of classes, I'm just sick of Spanish. I get so nervous everytime I go to class because she has to call on everyone at least once in class to give them participation points. And I've been out of Spanish for so long that I still don't remember a lot of vocab. So she'll ask me a simple question and I'll have to respond in English. Granted, the majority of my class does not understand a lot still either, but I just had feeling unprepared for class. I have been studying a lot but I need to spend a whole weekend just relearning everything I learned in High School.

I've been feeling pretty good about my new outlook. I just feel happier not worrying about guys. I know my feelings for Boca won't go away, but I can't live each day obsessing about it. If something was meant to happen, then it would have. BTW, I did text him recently but he didn't write back, so it's not like I haven't tried. I just can't keep waiting around. I want to be happy and I need to be happy. And I feel about about this.