These past couple of days have been a real downer in a sorts. It started yesterday when I had the worst migraine in the world. I thought I was going to have to call the hospital, it was so bad. It was weird because I've never had a migraine before, and I was just in a practice room when I started to not be able to focus on one part in the music. It was where my eyes were trying to focus and there was a fuzzy circle on that area. It then got bigger and bigger, but I was able to see through the circle, just not around it. It then grew so much that I couldn't see the fuzzy circle anymore, but then BANG my head hurt. I got back to my house as fast as I could, but I couldn't find any pain medicine anywhere. Finally one of my housemates came home and I took some extra strength Tylenol, but I seriously thought my life was over. My head hurt so bad that I threw up. By that night it was gone, but I'm scared it's going to come back, because Migraines run in my family. I might get it checked out.
And then today, I got my theory composition back and I got a 55 on it. I was fucking pissed. The project was for two saxophones, where the top line had to be one mode (mine was dorian) and the bottom line another (shang mode). My Professor made all these restrictions - it had to be in 5/8 time, the note length couldn't be shorter than an 8th note, the longest being a dotted quarter, we had to write an ostinato that could only be in one part for 6 measures before changing to the other voice. So I followed all these restrictions and just tried to get through it, and I thought my final product was really good, and everyone else agreed. And then I get it back today with a little note "see rule #2". It said both voices had to be playing in every measure. I put in measure rests all over the place. 45 Points were taken away because of it. And knowing me, I put up a fight. I really love composing, and I'm good at it too, I just hate all these restrictions are put on us when we compose because I don't believe that's how one should compose. Composing is about how you feel, not about rules. I had this problem with my last composition too. The downside to my fight was that I had no way to win - the rules were written out and I didn't read them carefully. But I did express how I don't agree with any of her opinions on composition. She told me I could fix my composition and she'll reconsider my grade, so at least there's that. In spite of her, I just want to write a composition and get it published, and dedicate it to her, and not have it follow any convetional theory rules. Fuck theory.
That really just put me on the wrong note. But at least I'm going home in an hour. I just cannot wait to leave. I really just want to get home and forget about all the shit I have to do here.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
One of the things I hated MOST about college was the hoops I had to jump through. This feels like that. It doesn't seem to matter whether you compose well, it matters whether you jump through all the teacher's hoops in the right order, like at a dog show.
Hated it. But you have to get through it. Honestly, real life is like that -- there will always be people who will only pay you if you do it their way. So, fuck em. Do it their way.
When you do it for yourself, you do it YOUR way.
While its ok to question your grade, I don't know about telling your teacher you don't agree with any of her opinions.... lol. You ARE taking that class with the assumption she has something to teach you. Just don't get in bad standing with her.
And everyone has days (months, years) that suck so don't worry, life'll get better. Like in the summer when we can forget we're college students for a second and breathe. haha.
Oh I know what you speak of! though i wasn't too much into compositions, but yeah, Theater was an integral part of my college days! And we wrote our own plays... From Greek to Roam to contemporary.. we wrote 'em all! However, our convener the Mofo always had his own crazy ideas which we were supposed to abide by. And its precisely coz of those changes that qwe lost so many competitions! we knew we weren't the best there was, but without those changes, we atleast stoo a chance!
But thats how it happens anyway :| U can't do shit about it. U gotta abide. that's the first rule, apart from the rules of competitions!
Post a Comment