2009? Okay.

I can't believe I haven't posted since New Years. A lot has happened.. sort of.

Let's begin with New Years. I went to my friends house in Buffalo, and had a great time. It was so much fun to see all of my friends. We started drinking pretty early (8 is early for me), and everyone was obsessed with doing as many shots as possible. Two friends that had graduated from school showed up, one of them being a huge crush of mine. We'll name him M (because I can't figure out a nickname for him), and I've had a crush on him ever since I met him the fall of my freshman year. We didn't start talking to eachother until the end of that year, and haven't talked since until New Years. For some reason, it felt like we had known eachother forever, and we had a lot of fun with everyone else. And there obviously was sexual chemistry between us.

Now, M has a history of this. And I know about it, everyone does. But it didn't matter to me. So after midnight came and M and I were sitting alone by one of the fireplaces, I kissed him. And it was there. The feeling. Which is really stupid because I know he didn't feel it like I did. I'm probably just another number to add to his list.

Drama happened though. M and I went up to the guest room to lay in the bed, to see whatever would happen, but before I knew it I was being pulled out of bed by my friend who lived there, not letting me be with him. She kept saying "I'm saving you". I drunkenly fought with her, about her not letting me do what I wanted. But then I laid in her bed because I thought I was going to pass out. M came into her room and yelled at my friend because he wanted to talk to me, so I got back up and we went to talk in the other room. He was upset because he said he gets attached really quick to people and started feeling something for and was pissed that nobody would let us be together (oh yeah). He ended up driving home after that, stupidly.

The next morning, I got a text from him about him leaving his pants there. I looked in the bedroom we were in and saw where they were and his wallet. Everyone was going out to breakfast, so I told them I was going home because I had things to do, and went to meet M somewhere close. We met at a reststop off the highway because it was the closest place to meet, and I gave him his jeans (he ended up just taking someone elses that were in that room). And we hugged and left.

I haven't really talked to him left, and I don't expect us to. He works at a school on Long Island, and I go to school in the north country of NY. It's not worth my disappointment to expect something to happen between us. So there's that everyone.

Next, I went to Cincinnati this weekend with my friend and her mom. We took voice lessons with Barbara Paver. My lesson was unbelievably good, expect we had to work on a lot of basic vocal technique - stuff I should be over with. I'm not nearly as advanced as I should be. The thing that sucks is that my tone is great, everyone always compliments the sound of my voice. But there's nothing backing it up because my technique isn't there yet. CCM is unbelievable though, and it's my number 1 choice for Grad School. The whole campus, the city, everything is so unbelievable. I can't believe I'm already thinking about Grad School, when I'm only a sophomore.

I have so much work ahead of me though. I need to practice everyday and get to work.